I Feel Like I'm Floating
by KlaineFan88
Summary: Kurt starts a new job at a Suicide Hotline Agency and is surprised by who his first caller is. I'm not sure how many chapters this will be.. but I hope you like it. Suicide and self harm warning!
1. Chapter 1

**I hope you enjoy this story! I also hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! If you like this story, you can click on my username and check out some of my other stories I've written. I don't own Glee!**

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"Okay, Kurt, here is your desk. You just answer the call and let them tell you whatever is on their mind. A lot of the time the person calling will feel like they don't have anyone to talk to or listen to them, so just be that person for them. Tell them how they are important and that taking their life isn't the answer. Do you think you can do this? It can be a very hard and emotional job."

Kurt looked to the small brown haired woman and nodded, "I'm here to help."

She smiled and showed him how to work his head set and walked away. He sat there looking around his desk and pulled out a few of his designs. This was just a part time job so he could make a few extra bucks. Being an intern was great and all, but he didn't make what he wanted. He had to help pay the bills for their apartment after all. His phone rang so he took a deep breath and answered the phone.

"Hello, this is the suicide hot line, how may I help you?"

Never in a million years would Kurt ever think that he would hear someone he knew in one of these phone calls, let alone his ex-boyfriend.

"Um... I'm calling because I've had thoughts of killing myself. I'm sorry, I don't even really know why I'm calling or how these things work."

_Oh my God it's Blaine! My Blaine...my old Blaine! Why is he calling? He didn't recognize my voice when I answered. Do I tell him it's me? Do I pretend not to know him?_

Blaine's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, "Hello? Is anyone there?"

Kurt cleared his throat, "Sorry. Technical difficulties... anyway... you said you didn't know why you were calling? Why don't you tell me why you've been depressed?"

He heard a sigh over the phone and a broken voice started to speak, "I've messed up everything in my life. I have nobody left and nothing to live for. I don't see the point in living any longer if all I do is hurt people."

"I've got a lot of time if you want to tell me the whole story."

Kurt heard a choked sob come from the other side of the phone, "Have you ever cheated on anyone? Or have you ever hurt the person you love the most and ruin your relationship with them?"

Kurt looked down and wiped a tear away, "No I can't say that I've cheated before."

"I cheated on my soul mate. On the person I saw myself marrying. I had pictured us getting married and having successful careers where he is a famous fashion designer and I was a great musician and we would eventually adopt a kid or two and get a cat... but I've ruined all of that. We broke up two months ago after I confessed to him that I cheated. I haven't been the same since. I haven't been eating or sleeping. I love to sing and be in the spotlight, but I could barely handle having one scene in the school musical. The only way I can take the pain away is by cutting myself and I think if I killed myself, it would make everything better. I wouldn't be such a burden on everyone around me."

Kurt gasped, "You cut yourself? How many times have you done that?"

"Three times."

Kurt didn't know how to respond. _What would I say if I didn't know this was Blaine?_

"Have you tried talking to the person you cheated on? Have you talked it out?"

"God I've tried so many times. I text and call him daily, but he doesn't respond. I sent him a box set of his favorite show and I got it sent back to me. I've always known that it has been hard for him to trust people, and I know that he won't ever be able to trust me again. I lay awake at night picturing him dating someone else and having our future that we planned with another person and it makes me sick. I want him to be happy, but I want more than anything for him to be happy with me."

"Why don't you tell me why you cheated. Tell me what you would say to him if he would listen to you."

"The guy I was with that night was named Eli. I met him on Facebook. I went over to his place because it felt like my boyfriend, who recently moved to New York, was moving on with his life and I wasn't a part of it. And I got to thinking that maybe we weren't meant for each other. That we weren't supposed to spend the rest of our lives together. But the horrible thing is, right after I did it... I knew that we were. I cheated on the one person I love more than anything in this world. I hurt him! Of course he will never trust me again. Why should he? I don't even deserve him anymore. I'm dirty and disgusting and I don't deserve anything. The worst part of it is that I pushed him to go and chase his dreams. He doesn't belong in this hell hole of a town. I just never imagined that it would hurt so bad. Everything was great in the beginning. We Skyped, texted, and called multiple times a day. Then he was surrounded by his new job and how great the city was and he stopped communicating with me. Do you know how much it hurts to call the person you love most and know for a fact that they hit the ignore button on their phone? It rings twice and then goes to voicemail. It feels like a slap in the face. I don't even know the last time that he had said "I love you" to me first. I would talk to him on the phone and as we would say bye I would get hung up on while saying "I love you". I don't even think he heard me. I just feel really alone and he was the only person I could talk to. My parents pretend that I don't exist, my friends in the Glee Club were his friends first so they barely look at me. I even tried going back to my old school to see if I would like transferring back and I didn't feel like I belonged there. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. My boyfriend was my anchor and now that he is gone I feel like I'm just floating with nowhere to go and I really want this feeling to stop."

By this time Blaine was sobbing and having a hard time breathing and Kurt had tears streaming down his face. His boss came back over and quietly asked if he wanted her to take over, but he shook his head no.

"Blaine listen to me! Nothing in this world is worth taking your life. Everything may seem awful now, but it will get better. I promise you. Maybe you should start seeing a therapist if you can't always call us. Maybe take some medication for depression until everything starts getting better. But don't cut yourself or kill yourself over a guy. No man is worth that."

"Trust me.. he is worth everything. I would die for him. I even almost went blind for him, but that a whole other story."

There was a small silence and then Blaine said something that made Kurt's heart stop.

"Wait... I never said my name when I called. You called me Blaine."


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry for the lack of updates! This chapter is short but the next one will be longer! I don't own Glee!**

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"Blaine listen to me! Nothing in this world is worth taking your life. Everything may seem awful now, but it will get better. I promise you. Maybe you should start seeing a therapist if you can't always call us. Maybe take some medication for depression until everything starts getting better. But don't cut yourself or kill yourself over a guy. No man is worth that."

"Trust me.. he is worth everything. I would die for him. I even almost went blind for him, but that a whole other story."

There was a small silence and then Blaine said something that made Kurt's heart stop.

"Wait... I never said my name when I called. You called me Blaine."

"I... what?"

"You called me Blaine. I never said who I was." Kurt heard a small gasp on the other end of the phone, "K..Kurt?"

"Umm.."

Kurt looked around him to make sure nobody was paying him any attention.

"Kurt is that you. Oh my god. I feel like I'm going to throw up. You won't speak to me and then now I tell you everything and I... I don't know what to do. Kurt say something!"

"I..Blaine stop calm down. It's okay. Everything is going to be okay!"

"How? How is everything going to be okay, Kurt? I just.. I can't breathe.. I need out of here. I need... I need to cut.."

"BLAINE! No don't please don't.

Kurt heard a click and the line went dead. He stood up and found the woman in charge, "I need to go."

"Kurt, your shift just started."

"No, you don't understand. I need to go now!"

Kurt ran down the hall and out the door and onto the crowded side walk. He quickly grabbed his phone and called his dad.

"Kurt, how's it going?"

"Dad, go to Blaine's!"

"What?"

"Listen to me. Go to Blaine's now and make sure he isn't hurting himself! I'm on my way! I'm leaving on the first train available!"

"Kurt, what the hell is going on?"

"Dad just listen to me and do what I say! I will explain when I get there!"


End file.
